Impatience and fear.

It suddenly dawned on me that I feel wary and apprehensive when the kids are all smiles and playing happily together. And when the kids are all smiles and playing happily together in public, people smile at me and say they are such lovely kids. I, too, think they are lovely. But often not for long. And this stresses me out greatly. Of late, they are more whiny and irritating than angelic. Is it a phase they are going through? Am I not spending quality time with them? Or am I just an impatient mother with a low tolerance level for unreasonable behavior, something which seems common in small children.

Just this morning, the daughter needed 30 minutes of coaxing to get out of bed to brush teeth. I had to prepare their breakfast, and told her to rinse her mouth by herself. She snapped. Ran to the kitchen with her foamy mouth crying. (Why?!) I seriously couldn't take it, but told her to go back to the toilet to rinse. Her grandma helped her. But she was still in "let's agitate mom" mode after. Time was running out. I grabbed her and brought her to her room to change. She insisted she couldn't go to school, and wouldn't wear the cute cheongsam that was to be the attire for today's Racial Harmony Day. After some struggle, I got her into her dress and gave her milk to drink. She screamed and said she didn't want to drink, and that's when I snapped, and smacked her on her hand. She screamed even louder and I smacked her again. (I just know the smacking doesn't work but I still do it – why?!) Thank God the grandma came to the rescue at that point. I stomped away.

This seems to be happening on a daily basis now (not the smacking, just the bouts of screaming). I don't know what to do. Most days I try to calm myself and ignore them. They've been fighting a lot too, which is difficult because I don't know how to mediate without taking sides. When they are on their best behavior, cheery and cooperative, I hold my breath and tread carefully. I hear this voice telling me that this should not be the way, bringing up kids should not entail fear. Everyday I tell myself this is why I cannot have anymore children -- I am a busy and impatient working mother who struggles with anger and stress management issues -- and yet I hang back on making an official announcement, if only to myself. The working mothers with domestic helpers don't understand. They have screaming kids too, but don't have frazzled lives. People say that work-life balance is important. My work-life balance is a fog of fuzzy boundaries -- I spend time with the kids 7 days a week, and I also work 7 days a week, with whatever time I can spare.

And there are other stresses. Financial issues. Outstanding debt. Retirement preparation. Many times I wonder how far I will remain in this world. I don't know what God has in store for me, but what if it's to suffer and die young? Should I be prepared for this?

Maybe I need to talk to somebody with real problems like mine. Most people look at me and think I am doing a great job, but it hardly feels so. I wonder if my kids will grow up high-strung and a bit crazy like I am. I certainly don't wish so but with my own mother's tendency to jump to conclusions, and my own moody outbursts, I know that if they look at me, they will learn from me.

I must endeavour.

Woman

I wish there was someone out there who would think that I am unpredictable, exciting, witty, fun, cute, and funny. Womanly, girlish, smart, intelligent, interesting, and engaging. Mature and innocent, old yet beautiful, young and impulsive. That I am someone to talk to, whether fluffy stuff or deep conversations.

And of course love me for all these and more.

Austerity measures. A soliloquy.

From 1st January 2013, I have been adopting austerity measures in a bid to save more money. The need to save more money is important to my husband's and my life goals, retirement plans, and my children's future. It's been four months and I am feeling the strain.

I was very determined in the beginning. I ate cheap, skipped lunch if I had a heavy breakfast, and never paid for someone to make coffee for me. I also stopped shopping for myself after Chinese new year. I do buy toiletries and necessities, but only when in dire need.

Recently, I realised my average lunch cost was getting higher and higher. I simply could not bring myself to eat some crappy food court meal at $4 anymore. $4 by many's standards is high for a lousy meal. But nowadays I was paying $6-12. I also spent a lot on my kids' birthday gifts. It felt like I was let loose. Consoling myself that it was a valid reason to shop, I bought anything on a whim. You can't blame me, I was shopping-repressed.

Just today, I had a disagreement with the husband on travelling by budget airlines for a holiday. A friend advised against budget airlines for an 8-hour flight. I totally understand the pain, especially with two 2-year olds in tow. But the hubs balks at the few thousand dollar bill just for flights. I understand that pain too. It seems so much for a one week's worth of gratification. But I'm angry still. Whatever it is, I'm disappointed and angry.

You see, I've been working very hard these last four months. Working my ass off in whatever time I had. I've had numerous jobs and they pay me alright. I earn a good keep, not great but good. I am tired working two jobs (the other being a full time mom!) in 16 hour shifts (or 24 hour if you consider a mom's job), and here I am, not able to reap any reward for my hard work. I don't have time for pedicures, I don't go for facials or spa treatments. I don't shop. I hardly have time for lunch chats or tea sessions with friends. I don't go on holidays. And I always feel pressured to eat the cheapest food available.

Am I normal to feel the need for instant gratification? I know If I wait, better things will come. But this wait makes my patience grow thin. It's also sad to see how everyone else around me seemingly having a much more fun time than I am. I feel entitled and I know that is quite wrong too.

As I wrestle with these feelings, the dawn of a new day beckons. And it's back to the grind again...

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Crap, its 2am, and I'm still awake. As I lie here regretting my caffeine excess today, I marvel that my little girls have turned 2, and that on this day 2 years ago, they were pulled from my tummy (the one that's still way too big and flabby...), and brought into my world. It's been an amazing journey, a rollercoaster of emotions, more to come I'm sure.

As I ponder my future and impending change, I hope to be able to spend more time with friends and family, so that my kids can know them too, and come to love them like I do. Things come and things go... I made new friends in these 2 years, and lost some too. And as my kids reach school going age (in Singapore, even nursery is considered school), I hope that they will be able to make friends and cherish them for years to come. At the moment they have each other, and it's not always peaches and cream with their completely different personalities. Still, the joy of the experience of twins is something that will always be previous to me.

One year!

It's incredible that I have not put in a blog entry in the last 6 months! I have been mighty busy with work and the babies. Sometime after the 6-month mark, they became super demanding, usurping all my time. I could not step away from them without them screaming and crying like the world's gonna end. They had their toys and each other, but it seemed like an adult had to be around to make them feel safe and secure.

In any case, here I am now, hoping to pen my thoughts down. The kids are asleep, mostly through the night, lucky us(!), and I shall spare a few moments to share my experience of crossing the one year mark.


First off, I must remark it has indeed been very fast. In the beginning when the babies just slept, drank milk and pooped all day, I felt tired and bored and time seemed to go very slow. I never believed, or dared to imagine, when some other parent told me how time goes faster with kids. And then when they started trying to talk, and crawl, and walk, and eat solids, etc, the days just whizzed by at breakneck speed. At one moment, I was looking forward to Christmas, or Chinese New Year, or their first holiday... the next moment, their first birthday party is over already. The girls had a swell time I think. I did, though I wished I had more time to chat with anyone for more than 2 minutes! Amelie didn't even want to sleep and had to be coaxed to after 2 hours of playing. Astelle took a 30 minute snooze and got up to say hello to the many guests, and meet the other little babies her age.

Also, babies learn very fast and soak up information like a sponge. It was interesting to see that you just needed to tell them certain things a few times and they'd get it. For example, they clipped their fingers on the drawers a few times and after that, learned to be cautious. They also learned words of their favourite toys like ball or bear pretty fast. However, it does not work when you scold them many times over and over again, not to touch the fan or play with electrical sockets. Arghh!


It's been an amazing journey this past one year. I recently visited a friend who just gave birth, and her baby seemed so small and fragile. It made me think back to the year before when my babies came out all skinny and shrivelled, small but precious. They could only lie down and not do anything, and couldn't use their hands to pick up things. *Sigh* time flies indeed... very soon, they will be 21 and graduating from school...

Three months on

It's nearly three months since I've gone solo, running Cardblanche by myself. It has been a very busy time, juggling jobs and taking care of the babies at home. I try to do whatever I can when they are napping - emails, tying ribbons, folding stuff... And when I go to the studio I work as hard as can be. It's been somewhat fulfilling and gratifying that I can somehow do this on my own and be able to keep going. What makes it so good is when satisfied clients say thank you when they collect their stationery from me. I try my best to make everyone happy, and I do work hard for my money, so your appreciation really counts in motivating me to do what I love to do.

I must thank heaven as well, for guiding me. I'm always thankful for that. :)

End of an 'era', time for a new one

After 8 years, my business partner and good friend, F, and I parted ways. She found a new job, and I found that life with twin girls is nearly all-consuming. There were ups and downs in these past years, but overall I feel it has been an experience like no other. Most people only dream of starting their own business, but we have been there and done that. It wasn't easy, and we struggled, succeeded, struggled again... Methinks the economic recession was a catalyst to people and companies cutting corners, and trimming their budgets. But all in all, I feel we have had provided good quality design work and attentive service, to the best of our ability. Unfortunately, not every client appreciates this, and we have had our fair share of nasty incidents.

Going forward, I hope I can continue to bring in business, do good work, make clients happy, and go home contented with milk powder and diapers for my children. :)

Here's a shot of my new office. And remember, should you need design work or wedding stationery, you know where to find me!

Trials & Tribulations

One of the toughest parts of being a new mom is breastfeeding your child. Before I gave birth, I was determined to breastfeed my twins. How hard could it be? Just let them latch on whilst spacing out in the middle of the night. If need be, I could do one on each side. I read lots of websites on feeding twins and was filled with optimism. Alas, when it came around to doing it, my milk supply came in very slowly, and coupled with newborns who fell asleep halfway through their feed, I was awakened every 30-60 minutes on my first night and was exhausted.

The next day, both babies had high levels of jaundice, and the husband discouraged me from breastfeeding, as breastmilk tends to make jaundice worse. Disappointed, I switched to pumping, and realised my milk levels were actually, quite low. Nevertheless, I continued pumping in hope that the supply would go up. A week later, I started latching on again, hoping that my babies insatiable thirst would increase my milk. Alas, it's been 3 months and despite pumping more frequently, longer, and taking medicines and herbs, nothing has improved. Till today I am still struggling to come to terms with this "loss", should I be happy that my babies are growing chubby and cute anyway? Or should I feel sad that there are many mothers who can provide for all their baby's needs, and I can't even provide for one of my twins?

To add to my stress and woes, my elder twin has a hole in her heart, that whilst small at birth, grew bigger when she was 3 months old. There's hope that it may close up in future, or that it may never affect her health in any way, but for a first-time mom, news of such sort can be worrying and upsetting.

Despite all these, being a parent is very rewarding. The feeling of waking up in the morning and seeing your happy and refreshed baby cooing and smiling at you is second to none. And I will not trade that for anything.

I shall persevere...for another 18 years at least...

It's all so surreal...

It's been 3 weeks since I gave birth and it still seems rather surreal. In my home are two adorable little girls (currently having their nap and looking like angels) – my children. I have to pinch myself sometimes to see if I am dreaming...that I finally have the children I've always been praying for. On the other hand, looking after babies is challenging, and I get so tired sometimes I just want to run away, go back to work, back to my previous life.

Again I say, if I didn't have God, I'd be a wreck. I have to constantly remind myself to relax, take a deep breath, and ask Him to guide me and bless me with wisdom and perseverance. Perhaps I should say "we" because Kimmy is going through the same challenges I am. Thank God that he took the whole month off to help me out, together with mother-in-law who has been a wonderful help around the house (she helps us cook and clean and do laundry – yay!).

Moving forward, I hope I will be a good mom, and be able to meet the different challenges children pose. I am grateful for all the help and advice everyone has given me, and I look forward to exciting times with the little ones.

As for now, it's time to get ready for another feed. :)

Time flies...

I've had a swell time these past nine months. Sure, there were ups and downs, but things were mostly smooth and easy-going for me. With the exception of the difficulty in sleeping at night these past few weeks, and having to wake up every two hours for the bathroom, I've had little morning sickness, not many aches and pains, no painful swollen limbs...I've even managed to continue going to work until last Tuesday. Hurrah for me!

Friends have asked if I am excited to give birth. Sure, I am excited to see the little ones, but also a little worried. What if they don't turn out like how I imagine them to be? Will I be disappointed? Or will I love them anyway...our flesh and blood after all, created from the love Kimmy and I have for each other. I am also a little scared of the operation. It sounds so major, cutting through layers of flesh. I take heart in knowing that many friends have gone through this before me and they are fine. I shall occupy my mind in that time praying, God gives the best comfort. Kimmy will be there too, but I suspect he might make me laugh to calm (his own) nerves, but I wonder if there are side effects to one laughing while going through surgery...

I have spent this weekend eating everything I've been missing for awhile, starting with Bedok Blk 85 Bak Chor Mee soup on Friday night, sausages for lunch on Saturday, and Jumbo Chilli Crab with mantou for dinner. I would probably have a huge rice dish, Singapore Fried Hokkien Mee, and coconut juice tonight at Whampoa Food Centre as well...and then it's a month of boring confinement food. It's not that I am complaining about eating good nutritious food in the month ahead, but the thought of adhering to a planned diet, and little room for spontaneity, it dulls my mind and makes me bored. I should be grateful that Mother-in-law cares for me enough to cook good food, I just hope she makes delicious pork soups and steamed cod fish - yummy - and steers clear of Chicken Essence and Fish Essence (!).

I am also anticipating a month of fatigue looking after babies, with nothing much to do in between but sleep and eat. My mother is going to be staying over and I hope Kimmy doesn't complain too much about that. Everyone is generously offering their help for free so I hope he sees that!

The weather - I am praying it stays cool and fairly windy. Less sun will be good, the house can be like a furnace, and turning on the aircon 24/7 is not the best plan. The heat doesn't help to dry cloth diapers either, what I need is wind.

In the meantime, I am resting at home, enjoying the babies' squirming in my belly, and appreciating everything I have. Tomorrow will be a new day, a new and exciting world awaits...

Am I a worrywart?

I seem to be worrying all the time these days. Will I be predisposing my children to being easily-depressed, unhappy individuals because they are experiencing my emotions whilst they are inside me? I try to cheer up and look at the positive side of things, but sometimes, life really does weigh me down.

Recently, I have had to deal with the passing of my grandmother, the only one I knew. I was sad but I know this is the cycle of life, and she was weak and well in her years. I now worry about my grandfather, whether he will be lonely and sad, and I worry if he will lose his love of life and go too. I feel bad I cannot visit him more often in my state, but I hope to do so in the months to come.

I worry for my father. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital 2 months ago, and came out weak and disoriented. He has recovered his strength and is able to go about his daily chores now, but he is plagued by strange itchiness on his scalp and sudden swellings in his eyes. He eats less and loses appetite easily, and seems to lose weight at every doctor's visit. I encourage him and chide him into eating more but he refuses. I worry he might still be ill, and that hospital doctors are usually too stupid to figure things out until it's too late. He wants to go back to work but I worry he isn't energetic enough. I worry that he worries he will run out of money, and there's nothing I can do to help him out because I can barely make ends meet myself.

I worry for my mother, I hope she isn't stressed out by these events. I worry my dog will be abandoned by my parents on the streets. I worry if it comes down to the crunch, my husband will not accept my dog as part of my life and send her to the SPCA. I worry for my brother who is having problems with his girlfriend, who is also struggling with problems of her own. I worry for their sanity, their life, and their future (although I know it's none of my business).

I worry for my business, whether I can cope with family and work. I worry if I'd have enough financially to help my husband support the house and home. As it is, food and petrol are getting so expensive it's just ridiculous. I worry if I'd be able to be a good mom. I worry if my in-laws will have problems taking care of two little ones, especially since my father-in-law is quite hard-headed and bigoted in thinking sometimes.

I also worry if my babies will be ok. They are so happy kicking around in my belly now I really hope and pray they will be happy, cheerful babies who are smart, have great eyesight and hearing, natural talents and abilities...and not worry all the time like me. I worry if I can survive the birthing and healing ordeal (although many friends have, and if they have, I will too?).

There's also the extremely depressing event that is the March 11th Sendai earthquake, coupled with a few others in the region, and some volcanoes spewing ash and lava for good measure. Will everything be ok again for the people in the affected zones? Or is this the coming of the end of the world?

So am I a worrywart? I certainly believe that without God, I'd be a wreck now. I have to constantly remind myself of that though...that He will be there for me, to carry me and lead me. I am thankful I still have savings, that I have a roof over my head, the means to buy baby essentials, and the tremendous support I have been receiving from friends and family. Am I just hormonal? After all, a life-changing event is going to happen soon, perhaps I am stressed out by it? And I can't share my feelings with my husband – men just aren't hardwired to understand why some women experience worry for others on such a deep level.

The suffering of the mommy

This post is a TMI one (too much info). If you think you're going to be bothered by details of bodily fluids, please do continue onto the next post here. :)

Being a mom is never easy. I know this but I have discovered that it starts in the 9 months of pregnancy. In the last one week, I have had a fungal infection resulting in bright-coloured discharge, Braxton Hicks contractions, sharp pains in my pelvic region, hemorrhoids, and leg cramps! Perhaps it's due to stress from my dad being admitted to hospital for a lung ailment, or anxiety in trying to finish a backlog of work...but I have realised that my days of happy pain-free brisk-walking are over!

I have had a relatively good first trimester ― little nausea and morning sickness ― and a great second trimester so far. Third trimesters aren't supposed to be easy and it's probably our body's way of preparing us for the days (and years) to come. Because of this week of pregnancy ailments hitting on consecutive days, I must have emailed my gynae 6 times, surfed a few dozen websites, and called every friend who was pregnant before to ask for advice. Panic strikes, yes. I was terribly worried about preterm labour as well, but it seems so far, I should be fine for now (though it would be hard to think such thoughts when there is pain and discharge!)

Moving on, I have to learn to adjust my diet to include even more wholemeal bread, vegetables, and fruits, and to walk more slowly and climb less stairs. No more long walks or rushing for the bus and train. I think I might even have to buy a pregnancy belt and compression stockings. Heck, I might even have to start paying cab fare.

I hope you aren't put off having kids, if you are a woman and have yet to give birth (and would like to). Being pregnant ain't easy but having the baby kick and punch you from the inside is a truly unique and special experience. Very intimate, and makes you feel very joyful.

Becoming a parent...

There are so many hurdles to becoming a parent, so many challenges and tests...I wonder if it's even possible to make it there. Having been reproductively challenged for many years, my husband and I sought out fertility treatments and eventually conceived via IVF. As we've never
gotten pregnant before, we wouldn't have known how my womb would 'take' to implanted embryos. Hence we had two put back in, for safe measure.

We spent weeks in a slightly agonizing wait, and then discovered we were going to have twins! We were thrilled and overjoyed, that is, until the doctor told us the extra problems that might arise due to twins. Great, he says this AFTER we had them transferred in. Don't worry we will take care of you, the doctor said. And indeed the centre did, for they put us through a whole host of tests to ensure the babies were progressing well, at the expense of making us panic and
worry.

At every step of the way there were scares. Test this test that. All kinds of abnormalities could arise and the doctors do want to ensure you know your risks before giving birth and perhaps blaming them for mis-information.

Currently, we're in between appointments and waiting for our detailed 20 week scan. We're eager to see the scans again, but in the meantime, trying to relax and enjoy the pregnancy as well. :)

Loving & Cherishing

A friend who loves and cherishes me (I'd like to think!) sent me this newsletter which was written by a friend of hers. Highly meaningful words in a small space. Do read it and reflect.

We complain to bond with each other

Sometime in the last ten years, I don't know when exactly, it suddenly became "cool" to complain about our country, our government, and its policies. Why I say it seems "cool" is because everyone seems to be doing it, from taxi driver uncle, to your neighbour, your friends, relatives, and perhaps a stranger on the road. If you don't "join in", you might be deemed weird and different.

Is this a sign the government is not doing its job as well as it could be, or are citizens becoming better-informed and thus, more unhappy?

I'm not one to dwell on things that irk me, but I do have gripes about my country and the way things are sometimes. However, I must admit that despite all the inconveniences, headaches, and dissension, there have been many good things happening here, and Singapore has never been more exciting.

So are citizens complaining for the sake of it? Are they truly unhappy here? Or as a friend said, every country will have its disgruntled inhabitants, sort of like a characteristic trait of any developing or developed country. I can just imagine political leaders of various countries chatting when they meet, "Are your citizens always complaining?" "Pretty much so!"

I conclude that I think Singaporeans complain to bond, to share their gripes and grievances. In sharing our joys and heartaches (hardly any joys), we draw closer to each other, our fellow countrymen. Ultimately, this is something that will never be changed, whether or not we have more freedom of speech, two political parties, sexual liberation, or even free parking for everyone for life.

Google Generation

If there was a "Google Generation", I would be in there. I google everything. If there's a word I don't quite understand, a language I want to learn, an old friend I want to find, or a shop's telephone number, I'd go straight to Google. Whilst it may not always be accurate, Google is the fastest and easiest way to get free information. My reliance on Google has gotten so bad that when my father expressed to me his fear that we will be clueless about funeral arrangements should he suddenly go one day, I told him "there's always Google so no worries."

In today's digital age when I can find anything and everything I want online, it sometimes surprises me when I am unable to find relevant and useful information. Maybe it's due to many businesses actually not utilising the online medium to their needs. For me, I am actively trying to increase my online presence by learning every trick in the book (!)...if I can, that is. After years of using Flash to make my website so pretty, I have discovered that it is completely useless in generating traffic on Google. As such, I've been adding html, and using Facebook, Twitter and Blogs to generate interest and garner more "followers". I've also started a free giveaway, because everyone loves a good deal (or do they?).

So if you're interested, do surf by http://card-blanche.blogspot.com/2010/06/win-set-of-couture-notesheets-envelopes.html to take part and win!

Why do I feel happy sometimes and sian other times?

"Sian". A Hokkien word used to denote a lot of feelings. Singaporeans all get "sian" at one point or another, at one thing or another. In English terms, some adjectives that describe it would be bored, indifferent, mentally-tired, lethargic, disinterested, frustrated, a general sense of fatigue...

This morning I made Avocado Scramble with sausage slices and tomatoes. Sounds pretty yummy. But after I packed it to bring with me for lunch, I felt sian and wanted to eat something else instead. Perhaps it was the colour of the oxidised avocado, or the bland taste that did not seem to awaken my tastebuds despite salt and sausages. I chucked it in the fridge and promptly texted awwesomepossum to buy me a sushi set from Jasons Marketplace. The sushi seemed very exciting although I had to pay $5 and waste a good amount of avocado and egg.

As I made my way to office, I had the usual encounters on my train journey. Dingy Outram Station where I had to change trains, no 3G network on the SMRT line, unable to send and receive emails, having people block the train doors as I try to exit at Tanjong Pagar. And then there was a long queue of people trying to get their hands on calligraphed Chinese New Year wishes. Sian...everything seemed so dreary and dull, including the scenery, and it's a bright sunny day.

Perhaps I'm just suffering from an early PMS, or insufficient sleep. Next week will be different, not sian at all with the great move!

We all become our parents

As scary as it sounds, we will all inevitably become what most of us were afraid of as a child - our parents. I am slowly coming to terms with this as well. As time goes by and I become a responsible adult, all my fears as a rebellious teenager are realised.

For starters, I take life in the slower lane, no more a speed devil, and I find myself cursing the fancy souped up WRXes when they tail me on the highway. I guess I reached an age where I don't think the thrill of the adrenaline rush is worth the risk.

Secondly, because I am financially independent now, I feel I am unable to tolerate the youth and the masses who spend frivolously. Even my brother's poor control over his finances irk me and it begs for a nag.

Speaking of nagging, somehow I nag more nowadays. I remember I used to dislike my parents for telling me the same thing over and over again, but now I do it subconsciously, to my husband who seems to never listen, and even my parents, who seem to forget everything I say!

Last but not least, I find myself nostalgically wishing for the days when music sounded so good, which is when I was younger. I recall my parents liking all that 60s jive sound and I thought it was so "old-fashioned". Now it seems I too, am old-fashioned. I get these moods where I just want to listen to the good 'ol days of the 80s, with bubblegum love lyrics and simple disco tunes. No rap, no hip hop, no angsty nasal-sounding teenage rocker.

The Pursuit of Happyness #1

I chanced upon a quiz for married couples and there was a question regarding how happy one was with their partner after a few years of marriage. There were answers to pick from, including "Still as happy as when we first married", "I go my way, my spouse goes his/her own way", and "We do our own things but are happy to get back together once in awhile".

My friend who took the quiz remarked, how can anyhow still be as happy as when they first got married, that's impossible, she exclaimed.

But for me, I can safely say I chose answer #1 on the quiz.

I realise after a few years of marriage that the "happiness" factor is really, all in your mind. By re-aligning your thoughts and viewing things from a different angle, you will find that you can still be happy despite all the chaos around you. For example, despite all of Kimmy's irritating habits, he's generally a great husband who loves me, cares for me and still likes to spend time with me. So I try to think of activities that we both can take part in, and often. This entails effort of both people and it's probably something a lot of people overlook when they lament on the lack of happiness in their life.

So to be happy, the first thing to do is, look at things from a different angle.

New York, Paris, Milan

I have learned in my years in advertising that it is not uncommon to attach fancy titles like "New York" or "Paris" or "established 1888" to your brand so as to achieve a certain feel and perception in your desired audience. Of course, the credibility in naming your brand in such a way lies in your story and rationale behind it, whether it is real and true, or just a marketing ploy.

Recently, the store Club Marc New York has sprung up around town. They have a huge store in Vivocity and have opened one in Marina Square as well. I've never been enticed to enter the store, being biased against the red and black colour scheme of their logo and signage (very 80s). However, having run out of stores to browse yesterday, I wandered into the Marina Square outlet for a quick look.

At first glance, Club Marc seems polished and edgy, and with surprisingly low prices. If they were really from New York, those prices in USD would have been dirt cheap walmart buys. I was puzzled, a bit pleased, no harm having more cheap and good boutiques in town. The cheap sat well with me, but the good I had to disagree. Many clothes came in bright neon colours this season - lime green and psychaedelic pink (??) - and most of the ladies tops seemed a bit "short" in height. I had the impression they would end at my waist, and I certainly do not want to make my torso look shorter than it already is.

I decided to do my research. What store claims to be from the big apple when the tops looked like they were from HK, size wise, design wise. The Club Marc website was bad. The layout isn't great and the english throws you off a bit. Classic examples include " EVOLUTED TO A NEW FAST FASHION RETAILER" (isn't it evolved?) and "NEW FASHION STLYINGS" (what's a styling, and spelling error at that) -- Do feel free to surf to their website for more grammatical faux pas.

Another juicy tidbit i found out is that the website says the company was established in NYC in 1999 but alas, they have no stores in NYC at the moment, because they are "opening soon". They have an "R&D Center" in NYC though. What is there to R&D about for clothes? Their global HQ is in Singapore and all their stores are here. And they have a long list of countries on their store locator page but I'd bet all except one says "no stores at the moment". I guess the founder is very optimistic, looking to expand into every country in the world.

So...I gather this is a classic case of "fancy titling" in branding and image-building. After reading their website, I find a stronger resolve in me to not purchase anything from them or visit their store again. Such a pity, they turned out to be an empty shell with no substance, and no nice clothes.