Am I a worrywart?

I seem to be worrying all the time these days. Will I be predisposing my children to being easily-depressed, unhappy individuals because they are experiencing my emotions whilst they are inside me? I try to cheer up and look at the positive side of things, but sometimes, life really does weigh me down.

Recently, I have had to deal with the passing of my grandmother, the only one I knew. I was sad but I know this is the cycle of life, and she was weak and well in her years. I now worry about my grandfather, whether he will be lonely and sad, and I worry if he will lose his love of life and go too. I feel bad I cannot visit him more often in my state, but I hope to do so in the months to come.

I worry for my father. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital 2 months ago, and came out weak and disoriented. He has recovered his strength and is able to go about his daily chores now, but he is plagued by strange itchiness on his scalp and sudden swellings in his eyes. He eats less and loses appetite easily, and seems to lose weight at every doctor's visit. I encourage him and chide him into eating more but he refuses. I worry he might still be ill, and that hospital doctors are usually too stupid to figure things out until it's too late. He wants to go back to work but I worry he isn't energetic enough. I worry that he worries he will run out of money, and there's nothing I can do to help him out because I can barely make ends meet myself.

I worry for my mother, I hope she isn't stressed out by these events. I worry my dog will be abandoned by my parents on the streets. I worry if it comes down to the crunch, my husband will not accept my dog as part of my life and send her to the SPCA. I worry for my brother who is having problems with his girlfriend, who is also struggling with problems of her own. I worry for their sanity, their life, and their future (although I know it's none of my business).

I worry for my business, whether I can cope with family and work. I worry if I'd have enough financially to help my husband support the house and home. As it is, food and petrol are getting so expensive it's just ridiculous. I worry if I'd be able to be a good mom. I worry if my in-laws will have problems taking care of two little ones, especially since my father-in-law is quite hard-headed and bigoted in thinking sometimes.

I also worry if my babies will be ok. They are so happy kicking around in my belly now I really hope and pray they will be happy, cheerful babies who are smart, have great eyesight and hearing, natural talents and abilities...and not worry all the time like me. I worry if I can survive the birthing and healing ordeal (although many friends have, and if they have, I will too?).

There's also the extremely depressing event that is the March 11th Sendai earthquake, coupled with a few others in the region, and some volcanoes spewing ash and lava for good measure. Will everything be ok again for the people in the affected zones? Or is this the coming of the end of the world?

So am I a worrywart? I certainly believe that without God, I'd be a wreck now. I have to constantly remind myself of that though...that He will be there for me, to carry me and lead me. I am thankful I still have savings, that I have a roof over my head, the means to buy baby essentials, and the tremendous support I have been receiving from friends and family. Am I just hormonal? After all, a life-changing event is going to happen soon, perhaps I am stressed out by it? And I can't share my feelings with my husband – men just aren't hardwired to understand why some women experience worry for others on such a deep level.